Sex, Scandal & Schadenfreude


There’s nothing better than a good old messy sex scandal that topples the high and mighty – especially in America! So much fun to revel in the agony of  others, especially those hypocritical dicks in high office.

David Petraeus: smart as a whip, four star general, hero of two wars,  CIA chief, rising political star – only to be brought low by being stupidly led around by that small, lecherous head hiding in his pants. How silly. How tragic. How much in line with all the alpha males dethroned in the past by mindless lust.

What was he thinking?? “Hmm, I’m head of the CIA, under constant scrutiny by friends and enemies alike, married, and with ambitions still unfulfilled. Think I’ll get me some tail on the side. What could possibly go wrong?” 

We males are all at jeopardy of making the same mistake. Look at Bill Clinton. My God, what was he thinking? “Hmm, I’m President of the United States of America, married to a powerful wife, and have ruthless enemies who are constantly seeking to destroy me. Think I’ll get me some trim from that chubby, not so bright, twenty something intern. What could possibly go wrong?”

John Edwards? How dumb was that? “Gee, I’m going to run for President again, my wife – who everyone adores – is dying of cancer, the press is all over me 24/7… Think I’ll cavort with the cute woman who did those videos. What could possibly….”

Larry Craig? As a self righteous, married Senator preaching the need for traditional family values, he managed to get himself arrested in a public bathroom soliciting gay sex. It’s impossible to know what he was thinking.

Ah, but the very best sex scandals blow up around those idiot southern mega-church preachers who rail against the gays only to be caught with a dick up their ass.

I could go on, and on, and on, and on. To save me the trouble I’ll just link to this page of political sex scandals from the past. I wonder when the first high mucky muck succumbed to temptation only to have his place at or near the top of the heap shattered? Twenty thousand years ago? “Gosh, I’m the high wizard of the tiger clan, dozens of guys want to topple me, not to mention those bear clan bastards on the other side of the hill, think I’ll screw Gog’s woman – and maybe Glug’s, too. What…?”

But nobody learns from history. Through the ages each guy thought he could have his pussy and eat it too. Insulated by his sycophants and power, each philanderer believed he could get away with it. Each smugly believed he was immune to the perils of  blind lust.  “I’m too smart, too careful to end up like those other guys. She loves me and will  keep my secret, the press – and my wife and the voters – will never find me out. What could possibly go wrong?” 

And  the common man is just as likely to bring himself low by sexual indiscretion as his betters. He’ll hit on that sexy co-worker, pick up a whore in the worst part of town, seduce his wife’s best friend, or collect kiddie porn. When he gets caught he can kiss his house, his 401(K) and his reputation goodbye  when his wife’s divorce lawyer gets through with him. (Amazingly, divorce lawyers are more likely than their fellow chumps to let their dicks overrule their good sense.)

But the thick, bright silver lining of all these sex peccadillos is the delicious enjoyment they afford the rest of us. Its almost as good as watching that fat, pompous asshole slip on a banana peel and fall on his ample ass. Wonderfully,  Petraeus scandal gets messier – and more fun – every single day. Another four star general!  Another Tampa “socialite” bimbo! Ha! And that shirtless right wing FBI guy. How can it get any better!?

But as much fun as we get from these scandals, we’ve got to remember not to become that idiot guy caught with his dick where it doesn’t belong…!


All photos  by Amadeus Hwllequin,  original photos and my remixes, subject to this creative commons license


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