See You Later Alligator…


Some critters are safe and cuddly – think bunnies, puppies and koala bears. Some, while dangerous, are majestically beautiful – think lions & tigers & bears. But some are ugly and dangerous as hell – think alligators and crocodiles

Alligators and their uglier cousins crocadiles are not only ugly but vile. Do you think your basic Crocodylidae would think twice – if they think at all – before gobbling down a bunny, puppy or koala bear? Of course not. Those really, really giant gators would most likely at least try to devour a lion or tiger or bear. Just disgusting…

I don’t believe in a god and alligators are one of the (thousands) of reasons why I don’t. Tell me your basic tiger is proof of god and I might have to concede your point. Tigers are fearful in their symmetry. Blake got it right… But alligators? Right up there with bats, spiders and jellyfish. Any god worth her salt would have left these creatures on the cutting room floor.

In fact, now that I think about it, most all lizards are pretty worthless. If the Republican party were an animal it surely would be some kind of tiny, really ugly lizard (and Romney, of course, would be a chameleon).

We would all be better off if Noah had kicked gators and crocs off his boat. No telling how many species of cute and cuddly critters they deprived posterity. The man must have been addled (or some kind of crocophile…) Maybe we can at least get our domestics gators to self-deport back to wherever they originally spawned. Maybe they aren’t illegal aliens, but they sure are alien! The next thing you know they’ll be taking our jobs and nibbling at our kids.


 Alligators and Crocodilians Alligator in the Everglades

For photo credit, click on image. All photos subject to this creative commons license

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