Fighter pilots with black and yellow stripes
circling around, dive bombing types
One, flies in for the kill
another has his back, just for the thrill

I am innocent, I was just sitting there
timing is everything, humans beware
Humble cologne, enticing-ly perfumed
or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, half consumed

Wasps, bolder than bumble bees
meeker than hornets, dropping to their knees
Either way, these annoying, persistent things
ruined my picnic, with their unprovoked, nasty little stings.



OK, I admit it – when it comes to wasps I’m a girly boy. They scare the shit out of me. I go into ludicrous, hand flapping gyrations whenever a wasp buzzes around me. At least I don’t scream (well, most of the time). I’m not sure why I become such a weak kneed pussy; I don’t remember ever being stung by a wasp.  I think its because the little fuckers just look so goddamn mean. They even sound mean.

Bees sting, too, of course; but the humble honey bee looks almost cuddly as it flits from one flower to another. All bees want to do is suck up nectar and fly it back to the hive. A bee isn’t gunning for me, she sticks to business unless I mess with her or get too closes to her hive. I mean, a bee gives her life to sting you so she’s gonna have a damn good reason to jab you with her stinger. Sure, a swarm of bees is terrifying, but one single solitary honey making bee in the garden just gives me a happy buzz.

Even big bumblebees don’t turn me into jello. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of respect for bumblebees, a bumblebee sting really smarts, but these flying jumbos just don’t look all that menacing and they don’t dart around at high speed. Not like wasps.  Wasps are the the Mig-27’s  of the insect world. Given half a chance, a wasp will try to take you out. Wasp are evil – almost as evil as spiders.

Ugh! Spiders! Don’t get me started on spiders! Got bit once by a Brown Recluse. Bastard damn near ate half my forehead. Twenty-five plus years later I’ve still got the scar. I hate wasps, sure, absolutely,  but I really, really, really, really hate spiders.

But that’s another story altogether…


Wasps, Wasps, WaspsWasp WaistWasps – IchneumonsOutstanding Bumblebee – Bumblebees Bees, Bees, Bees! 

Photo credits: Click on image for link to photographer. Each image remixed by me, each image subject to this creative commons license

Read all of VISIONS

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