Tits & Twaddle

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Is Visions unique? Where else, I ask proudly, will you find the perfect mix of cheesy smut and puerile political punditry? Pinups and politics! Babes and baloney! Tits and Twaddle…

Politics has just gotten too disgusting. The hope and change guy is reduced to a string of attack ads and the other guy just makes stuff up and hurls it back at the incumbent. And, of course, there’s the tale of gynecologist Todd Aiken. [Insert you own joke here].

Romney put a dog on the roof of his limousine  – Obama ate one in Indonesia (where he was secretly indoctrinated in radical Islam). Paul Ryan is really a fictional character made up by Tom Clancy and Joe Biden is a manic robot with a mouth straight from Mars. And we voters are so fat, dumb and lazy we swallow all this bullshit and beg for more. Please, please, cable news, tell us all about Mitt’s secret underwear and Obama’s diabolical plan to turn America over the the UN!!

A county judge in Texas (where else) justifies a request for a tax increase by opining an Obama re-election could lead to civil war and, hence, a need for additional local moolah to keep the peace. A candidate for Sheriff  in some unfortunate locale in New Hampshire says he’ll sanction deadly force against abortionists. Democratic pols, with an eye to the loonier segment of  their base, want to insure Chick-Fil-A doesn’t discriminate against gay roosters and sapphic hens (I may not have that last one quite right…) 

The late great senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan from New York once said, sorta, everyone is entitled to his own opinion but not his own facts. Not anymore. Stephen Colbert’s  truthiness reigns supreme. Now you can have a position, then find or manufacture the facts to back it up. Aiken and his ideological predecessors make up the fact victims of “legitimate rape” won’t get pregnant to justify their insistence on a ban of abortion with no rape exception. The Donald and many, many others take as a matter of fact that Obama wasn’t born in America, is actually a Muslim and is so stupid he  has to use a teleprompter to justify their belief he really isn’t the President.  Not to be outdone, those on the loony left take as bedrock truth the existence of a vast right-wing conspiracy, firearms are inherently evil, that sure death will result from eating genetically modified foods, trees flowers have feelings, too, and that every white child needs Ritalin and multicultural sensitivity training to back up their belief our nation is a bloody, barbaric  land. Hundreds of books come out each year proving the Twin Towers were destroyed by the government, Kennedy was killed by a cabal of Jesuits in the CIA, Thomas Jefferson was really against the separation of church and state, that Lincoln was gay or a monster, that Bill Clinton, or Hillary, killed dozens  of people, and that fracking (or gluten, or sugar, or liberalism) will surely kill us all. Believe Teddy Roosevelt was really a Commie? There’s an app for that!

Why can’t we all just get along? We are all Americans, after all. We are all, at least in our own estimation, people of good will. We all are dedicated to making our proud nation, the best country that has ever, ever been in the entire whole wide world, a better place. And we all of us believe we could accomplish our noble goal if only those unlike us weren’t as dumb and venal as shit & are only bent on destroying America, our precious freedoms, the government, corporations, the fur trade, the social  safety net, reproductive rights, Christianity, Jews, Blacks, Hispanics, Asians, Gays, the handicapped, geezers, and stay at home moms,not to mention our beloved canine or feline pets.

Of course if you were a real American you would agree with me! My truth is self  evident;  since you refuse to acknowledge it, you must be party to whatever fiendish conspiracy I know is hellbent on the destruction of all I rightly hold sacred and dear.

Oh, well… That’s just my opinion and I could be wrong.

For photo credits, click on each image above. Each image was modified by me, and is subject to to a creative commons license.

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