Loons

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Is the population of human loons increasing as our civilization grows both more complex and corrupt? It certainly seems so. The loony folks, rich and poor, seem to be all around us.

Take Jerry Sandusky (not that you or anyone else would ever want to do that…). Of course he’s one twisted, evil guy. A very dark loon. But look at the Penn State administration from Pappa Joe on down. “Hey, guys, we have this coach who may well be a pedophile – what should we do?” The answer was to hear no evil, see no evil, and most definitely speak no evil. I mean what could possibly go wrong?

Don’ start me on the One True Church. “Hey, fathers (bishops, cardinals, popes),  we have these priests who may well be pedophiles – what should we do?” The answer was to cover everything up and shuffle the pederasts from parish to parish. I mean what could possibly go wrong?

Then there’s our beloved federal government, an institution with a long and dishonorable history of looniness. What could have been loonier than the war in Iraq (Vietnam, Afghanistan, etc.)? “Hey, guys (Mr. President, Congress), we have this war we lied to get into that’s destroying a county and getting a bunch of folks – including our troops – killed – and spending a ton of money – what should we do?” The answer was to double down, lie some more and get more folks killed, wreck the country a bit more. What could have possibly gone wrong?

Has there been a greater political loon than John Edwards? My god, what was he thinking? “Hmm, I’ve got this Hollywood bimbo as a mistress, who’s pregnant with my child, my sainted wife is dying of cancer, the tabloids are closing in, what should I do?” The answer was to continue to lie, raise a bunch of hush money from a rich, dotty old woman (and others), and continue to run for President. What could possibly go wrong? Bill Clinton certainly comes in a very close second; he’ll certainly be in the hall of political shame. “Hmm, think I’ll get this young, star struck intern to give me blowjobs in the Oval Office, then, if I get caught I’ll lie to my wife, lie to my staff and lie to the nation, and stonewall as long as I can”. What could possibly go wrong?

There are, of course, millions upon millions of everyday loons in our great and loony nation. You read about them every day in your local paper (if you still read it). Tabloids and cable news literally thrive on loons both famous and rich, or obscure and poor. The man who bit his dog was a classic loon… So is the loon who decides its a wonderful idea to have that seventh crown and cola before he heads home in his lunkermobile. How about the female teacher who decides to seduce her fourteen year old male student. He’d never tell, would he? What could possibly go wrong? Then there’s the guy who decides to borrow a couple of (thousand) dollars from the company till, the preacher who bashes gays while he’s involved with a male hooker, and the female lawyer who elopes with her criminal client. I mean, what could possibly ever go wrong?

The alarming truth is that loons are all about us, their numbers growing everyday (“Someone in America is struck with looniness every 92 minutes”). But the really scary thing? Most of us are a little loony in our lives some of the time. We smoke that cigarette, eat that second cheeseburger, steal that sweater, grow a little pot, lie to the IRS, or buy that Facebook stock. What could possibly go wrong?

A lot of our feathered friends are loons – but a lot of us are, too…

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FLICKR GROUP: Loons

Photo by Nigel, subject to this creative commons license

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