Artistic Pretensions


Want to ogle nekkid women but not be thought a low brow drooler by your friends and family? It’s easy; just stop looking at those big boobed, blond girls cupping their massive breasts or shaved crotch and looking at the camera with that come hither pout. Instead, find photos, preferably in black and white, of slim, nude women with modest breasts and presented in demure and artistic poses. It helps to further hide your lechery if you master a few phrases such as, “fine use of light and shadow”, or, “I’m not sure this composition works; it seems unoriginal and somewhat flat”. These and similar phrases should be delivered softly while stroking your chin or with your arms crossed. And never. ever say, with an idiotic, adolescent grin, ” god! She’s one hot babe!,” or anything similar.

To improve your skills, practice saying pompous and empty claptrap for each of these photos (I’ve offered some examples of what you should – and shouldn’t – say):

Say, “Fine example of the use of textures,” and not, “I’d plunk her in a New York minute!!”

Say, “Intriguing use of tone, but the radio may overpower the figure,”and not, “Oooh, spread those legs baby!”, or, “I’d love to munch them toes.”

Say, “I like the pose, but the shadows on the left overpower the image,” and not, “Tiny tits! But more than a mouthful is wasted…”

All photos by Dopamineharper, and subject to this creative commons license

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